![]() Love concerns, first and foremost, Murphy (Glusman, a Noé proxy), an American film student studying in Paris. But even without the extra dimension, I am here to say that as unabashedly unsubtle and self-indulgent as Noé’s films can be, the problem with Love has nothing to do with boners and body fluids, but rather the fact that Noé has made a sex-filled odyssey that, at the end of the day, is downright fucking boring. Know that I will bear that burden for the rest of my years. Unfortunately, I was unable to experience this sensation in its entirety, as the distributor couldn't provide a 3-D press screening for this review, so I was left to ponder its lesser, 2-D analog. When the news hit that Argentine/French director Gaspar Noé's new film would be a long-gestating dream project involving lovers engaged in unsimulated sex and shot in 3-D, my first thought was, "Ugh." My second thought was, "There will be a penis ejaculating toward the audience at some point." Alas (or happily, depending on your fancy), I am here to report that that second prediction comes true around two-thirds into Love, as an erect member faces the camera and showers the viewer with semen, which then may or may not elicit that initial thought (alternative responses include: "Oh, Gaspar, you're so provocative!" and also, "Ew."). ![]()
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